Lez review the initial
“The L Keyword.”
Recall when
Alice Pieszecki
almost cheated on Tasha in period 5 with Clea, that visitor on “the design?” After resisting the woman interest, Alice tells
Shane
:


“everyone just let our very own
relationships blow up
on very first small attraction. No person deals with their unique interactions any longer. Everybody’s completely for immediate gratification, and I also don’t want to be like that.”

Oh, Alice, you might be therefore right.

Jenny cheats on Tim with Marina.

Cherie cheats on Steve with Shane.

Bette cheats on Tina with Candace.

Dana cheats on Tonya with Alice.

Tonya cheats on Dana with Melissa.

Tina cheats on Helena with Bette.

Shane cheats on Carmen with Cherie.

Jenny cheats on maximum with Claude.

Phyllis cheats on Leonard with Alice.

Shane cheats on Paige with an agent.

Cindi cheats on Dawn with Shane.

Bette cheats on Jodi with Tina.

Niki cheats on Jenny with Greg.

Felicity cheats on the husband with Bette.

Lena cheats on Tess with Shane.

Sophie cheats on Dani with Finley.

It appears as though absolutely nothing a great deal has evolved for the fidelity section through the series finale a decade ago into show finale four weeks in the past. These females lack the track record. (But hey, neither perform the guys. Evaluating you maximum, Angus, Benjamin Bradshaw, and Gabriel McCutcheon.)

Keep in mind when Jenny attempted to seduce Stacy Merkin’s gf and girlfriend “only” helps make along with her shirtless only within hotel room rather than sex? The woman is considered a “saint.” Think about whenever Sophie cheats on Dani with Finley



before their particular supposed wedding?



Criteria, girls. Wow.

Everybody else defines cheating in a different way. Some would forgive Tina’s online-only tryst with DaddyOf2; others wouldn’t. (however, on “The L keyword,” the instant texting is named “f*cking him” by Bette, because there are more F bombs about program compared to a bunker.) Tasha says “considering is actually cheating,” and, sadly, by her own definition, she becomes a cheater too (Jaime). Some instances are totally clear cut; no one would claim that Lena’s hook-up with Shane wasn’t cheating.

If this program had been your only representation of queer women, you’d think we simply cannot ensure that it it is within our shorts. Very, in actual life, are we able to?

In British relationship company Coffee & organizations


survey


of 3,000 folks in Britain, 25 % of females — versus 9 per cent of males — mentioned they’d certainly hack if they fell for someone outside their unique connection. However, a different U.S.


research


into the “Archives of intimate Behavior” disclosed 23 per cent of right guys had cheated inside their present connection, versus 19 % of straight females, therefore it is ambiguous if women or men cheat a lot more to start off with. In any event, it appears as though there is an abundance of it going on!

A U.S. research


published in


Household Process


last year showed lesbians to have the



most affordable



cheating costs of any individual: 8 % for lesbians, 10% for directly males, 14 % for right women, and 59 percent for homosexual guys. I find this pretty remarkable, specially given the reputation right men have.

If lesbians genuinely have the lowest infidelity price, after that “The L Word” is stirring-up crisis. I became curious about just what real queer ladies had to state about that, so I uploaded in a


Facebook class


focused on “The L term: Generation Q.” In the beginning, dozens happened to be desperate to jump in with commentary on how unfaithful “The L keyword” women are, adding to the list near the top of this article. Nevertheless when we accompanied upwards asking



exactly why



this was, just one person ended up being ready to mention if the tv series reflects how exactly we come in real world. Marlena, a 52-60 year old lesbians from Maryland, stated she doesn’t consider lesbians cheat any longer than anyone else, but the perception is simply a stereotype. With regards to the show, Marlena states, “I think that ‘The L term’ is performing the job of entertaining men and women, while showing the weaknesses in humanity that we all have actually. I do not believe ‘The L term’ is responsible for bad images any further than ‘Breaking negative’ is for advertising a picture of an instructor offering drugs.”

How does cheating actually impact a relationship?


A 2016 exam


more than 63,000 men and women posted in the “Archives of intimate Behavior” checked that would become more disappointed over sexual unfaithfulness versus emotional infidelity (falling in love with somebody else but not literally functioning on it). Lesbians and bisexual women reported they would be similarly upset over either type. (For what it’s really worth, direct men cared much more about actual and directly women the alternative.) I have never ever really been cheated on (that i am aware of) or cheated (by my description),



but



Used to do fall for my now-wife in the last week associated with the connection I found myself in. We left that woman before We acted on everything with my now-wife, but that ex-girlfriend was understandably disappointed. I’m like i did so the best thing by perhaps not acting on it whilst in another commitment — you can’t really assist your feelings — but I can admit, if my spouse fell deeply in love with somebody else and remaining me, it wouldn’t be a lot comfort to find out that they had intercourse the afternoon after we divorced rather than the day before.

In a number of interactions, becoming drawn to someone while staying in a commitment with another isn’t a problem. Polyamorous people recognize why these destinations tend to be natural and have now open relationships. Let us end up being clear: Polyamory is



maybe not



infidelity. Cheating is certainly going outside your contracts along with your partner(s), and when your own agreement claims sleeping along with other folks is ok, then it’s good. (My relationship had been described as monogamous, so hooking up with my now-wife while using my then-girlfriend



would



happen cheating.) While I am personally monogamous during my direction, i do believe polyamorous folks have a great way to decrease the instance of cheating in connections by being initial how we don’t prevent having attractions simply because we’re combined. Giving both authorization to do something in it in plainly described boundaries is one way somebody predisposed to cheating could preempt any damage potentially due to setting up with another person.

Just take Alice Pieszecki for example once again. I imagined definitely she or Nat would definitely deceive with Gigi, but instead of blowing up the commitment over an attraction, they made it work. That threesome in the back of Dana’s was the greatest scene of ”


Generation Q!”


Poly interactions need a huge amount of interaction, plus the throuple would not lay down what they were confident with, leading to the blow-up whenever Nat and Gigi had gender with each other without Alice. It generally does not have to go straight down such as that (pun intended).

Most lesbians are about since forgiving as Alice:


One 2015 appearance


at lesbian connections showed that when there is cheating, 80 % of partners split up. Oftentimes,


the relationship currently has problems as soon as the cheating happens


, so they might have been on course towards break-up anyway. I found myself undoubtedly prepared to breakup thereupon ex a long time before We fell in love with my spouse, which other individual had been simply the inspiration to at long last leave.

It does not appear that cheating is truly more frequent in interactions between two women IRL, but what will we perform regarding it whenever it really does arise? Separating is but one alternative — like exactly how Tess left Lena — or implementing it — like greater and Tina getting back together following Candace event — is yet another. There is the precautionary measure of opening the relationship like Alice tried. Not one of them is actually “right,” since every situation and connection is exclusive, but no-one should let it rest unacknowledged.

The same as Alice had to carry out in season among initial “The L Word” by falling Gabby Deveaux, making a cheater is an affirmation of self-worth. Marlena in Maryland agrees. “should you decide give your own sexual fuel to another person, you ought to go end up being with them. Release myself thus I can perform equivalent.”